۵ Things I Learned as a Cop That Movies Won’t Show You

Canada Goose Outlet As this very site has pointed out, Hollywood gets police work cheap canada goose uk wrong probably more than any other profession. One of the side effects of that is, for instance, that I get to watch multiple drunk/high people demand to be let out of jail because we failed to read them their rights (it doesn’t work like that). It’s kind of funny the first few times. I’d imagine the canada goose uk black friday corrections officers didn’t find it as funny as I did. Canada Goose Outlet

canada goose black friday sale Anyway, I used to be a cop, and what I learned on the job is that it is far more ridiculous than any fictional portrayal. You’re seeing people at their most Canada Goose Outlet insane/stoned/naked, all the time. So let me tell you. canada goose black friday sale

canada goose clearance sale There’s Canada Goose Parka an apartment complex in every city that cops just don’t go into without lots of backup. I always imagined it was because those places were littered with armed gangsters, but that’s just a part of it. What really keeps police out of a neighborhood is all the people who absolutely do not give one canada goose clearance lonely, mountain dwelling fuck about the law. Here’s an example: canada goose clearance sale

Canada Goose sale I was cruising about one night and saw this drunken guy riding a horse through the streets, rolling through every lane, clopping into oncoming traffic. I turned on my lights and tried to pull him over. He decided to Canada Goose sale run away on horseback. I went after him, with canada goose black friday sale my partner patiently explaining that I’m a moron. Canada Goose sale

canada goose coats on sale Punching little old people is a felony, or at least it should be, so my partner and I chased the assailant through the complex. He vanished somewhere into the labyrinth and was lost to us, so I made my way back to the car, hoping maybe Canada Goose online the lady knew who he was. But she canada goose uk shop had vanished, too. And so had the drunken rider. The horse, however, had been cheap Canada Goose left behind. canada goose coats on sale

No one deals with horses. Animal control didn’t have the right facilities to house one, our station sure as hell didn’t, uk canada goose and not even my sergeant knew what Canada Goose Coats On Sale the hell to do with it. I called a towing company and said I wanted a flatbed to move buy canada goose jacket an abandoned horse, and was dismissed as a crank until I pointed out I was using the police only number and that I did have a goddamn horse that needed to be. impounded. Or something.

This freaked me out. Images of this dude being carved up by some serial killer filled my head (hey, I’ve seen the same horror movies you have). So I told my backup to hurry (I try to learn from said movies) and just ran in with my little pistol (but not enough, apparently). I canada goose store yelled the guy’s name and identified myself as police. I found the bedroom door locked, and with no response from inside. I kicked the bedroom door down.

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Canada Goose Jackets On another occasion, a guy showed up naked at the front door of a female acquaintance and shouted “I’m gonna fuck you in the ass!” He pinned her down on her bed, at which point she began kicking his balls. When he let go of her arms to try to pin her legs, she reached down and started punching his balls. Eventually she got all four limbs into the act, just wailing on his nuts until the signal reached his brain that it would be better to leave. Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose online I have kicked down https://www.canadagoosejacketsoutsale.com way more doors than I ever thought I would, and I can tell you that the movies get that canada goose outlet whole action completely wrong. Canada Goose online

cheap Canada Goose At no point should you ever stand directly in front of the door. There’s a reason the area in front of any doorway is called things like “the fatal funnel” and “Don’t fucking stand there.” Doors aren’t bulletproof, and if some bad guy behind the door hears you kicking at it, he’s going to canada goose coats shoot your ass. The goal is to give Canada Goose Online it a good donkey kick, standing off to one side with your back to the wall, so only your leg is in front of the door. Then kick backward, right under the knob. cheap Canada Goose

canada goose deals And as always, it often plays out far more stupidly than it does in the movies. All of them. canada goose deals

canadian goose jacket Another guy fortified his door, which of course wasn’t apparent from the outside. We were there because the guy was high and his girlfriend called saying he was suicidal (we’re compelled to stop people from killing themselves, no matter how shitty they’re acting). canadian goose jacket

buy canada goose jacket I kicked the door. Nothing. We tried a sledgehammer canada goose uk outlet as an uk canada goose outlet impromptu ram. Nothing. We called the fire department and borrowed their pry bars. Nothing. They broke out the Jaws of Life (and it’s nice to see a firefighter’s face light up like that) and we tried to peel the door from the frame. So we peeled the entire wall of his apartment away to get inside, only to see that all three hinges had been welded shut, the door locks had been welded shut, and he’d also welded a metal pole to a brick of steel behind the door and mounted that pole into the floor. buy canada goose jacket

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Canada Goose Parka And while you’ll often hear complaints of police speeding just for the hell of it, in my home state (Texas), protocol sets our maximum speed at canada goose factory sale 80 miles per hour, regardless of emergency buy canada goose jacket cheap light use. We have instances where we turn on our lights to try to get to an emergency canada goose coats on sale call and have people pass us on the highway due to the fact that everyday commuters routinely exceed the maximum set speed limit canada goose for police. Canada Goose Parka

canada goose clearance Now, in theory, a police car with its red and blue flashing lights on should be able to clear the path everybody knows to pull off the road, or at least clear a lane, when they see the lights and hear sirens. But some people see the left lane open up and rush over there, completely oblivious to the cop car racing toward them (yes, a lot of wrecks happen this way). canada goose clearance sale Pedestrians don’t pay attention either. It seems like the general attitude is “Oh, lights! What’s the stupidest thing I can do right now to ruin everyone’s day?” canada goose clearance.